Sam Spade, Brigid O'Shaughnessy, Cairo, and the Fat Man jumped
on the Gunsel and tied him to the kibitzer's chair. Spade called his
secretary and told her to bring the Black Bird to his apartment and
hurry. In the meantime, one last hand was dealt. The Gunsel, his
mouth covered by a towel, was forced to sit behind the Fat Man,
and his eyes bulged. This was torture beyond the norm, but Spade
figured he deserved it. Brigid picked up a duke and had to decide
on her opening bid.

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 South Brigid
   A 5 4 2
   3
   A K Q J 8
   A K 7

Brigid was from the school of you better not open a two- or
three-suited hand with a strong two-bid, if you want to get all
your suits bid. So she started with 1, and when Sam
responded 1, Brigid had her next decision to make.

 South Brigid
   A 5 4 2
   3
   A K Q J 8
   A K 7

I hate to jump shift, she said afterwards, but I was afraid, Sam,
afraid you might pass 1.

Apparently Sam would not pass (this time) because his next bid
was a jump to 4. Brigid was on the ropes again....

 South Brigid
   A 5 4 2
   3
   A K Q J 8
   A K 7

I bid 5, she explained to the police later that night when they
grilled her for all the gory details, because I wasn't sure how
good Sam's trumps were. We didn't have a partnership, and I
didn't know if Sam was bidding "fast arrival" or trying to show
me good trumps. If I used Blackwood, what good would it do
me? And I couldn't bid 5, because then Sam might think I'm
worried about clubs.

What did you do over 5, sister? asked the police captain later
that night.

 South Brigid
   A 5 4 2
   3
   A K Q J 8
   A K 7

I passed, of course! You don't think I would invite a slam and then
accept my own invitation do you?! I'm bad, I know I'm bad, but I'm
not that bad.

Cairo led the king of hearts and continued gleefully with the ace
as the Fat Man (East) followed with the 8 and 10.

Oh, Sam, said Brigid, what kind of dummy is that?

You prefer I pass you out in 1? said Sam.

You didn't have to jump, Sam....

At that point, Effie came in with the Black Bird. No one stirred,
however. We'll get to the bird after the hand, said the Fat Man,
concentrating on the defense!

Brigid ruffed the second round of hearts and considered her
line of play....

 South Brigid
   A 5 4 2
   3
   A K Q J 8
   A K 7

At trick three she led a trump to the 9, playing safe for 11 tricks.
If it lost, she could ruff the heart return and claim the rest. If it
won the trick, she could make 12 tricks....

The 9 won and Sam stood up. A police siren could be heard in
the distance. The Gunsel tried to untie himself. Cairo kept
staring at the Black Bird. Brigid then led the 10 of spades
off dummy and the Fat Man followed low again....

 South Brigid
   A 5
   —
   A K Q J 8
   A K 7

It was one of those unusual hands that come along every lifetime or
so, said Brigid later. You know, where you take a double finesse, only
in one suit. This is when we realized that the Gunsel was missing.
Did you find him?

Wait a second, said the police captain (later that night), are you
telling me, sister, that you first finessed the queen through West
and then finessed the queen through East?

That's right. It was a second safety play. If it lost, I was fine
for 11 tricks, but if I played to the ace of spades and West
showed out, I'd be in big trouble, don't you think?

Brigid was right. After the hand, however, the Fat Man discovered
that the bird was a phoney, and the real Maltese Falcon was most
likely hidden behind an old shelf in a Spanish bridge club. He invited
Sam and Brigid to come along with him to Madrid - You are
resourceful players! But Sam refused.

The Fat Man and Cairo left and Sam called the cops. As he
dialed the phone, he said to Brigid: You won't understand
this, but when your partner is murdered, a detective is
supposed to do something about it. Maybe you love me and
I love you, but maybe you won't get the chair and maybe I'll
wait for you and you'll be out in 20 years. Or maybe I'll visit
you on Tuesdays at the Alcatraz Duplicate.

Oh, Sam, cried Brigid. Would you at least not jump with four points?

Sam described the suspects to the police, who picked them up
and then came to collect Brigid as well. When they were all gone,
Effie made some fresh coffee and Sam wrote the hand out for her
on a napkin. You know, said Effie, the Fat Man really made a
nice play ducking that first trump. But she made a great counter
play! I've never quite seen a hand like this.

Sam picked up the napkin, crushed it and tossed it into the
garbage can. It's the type of hand that dreams are made of.

THE END

 South Brigid
   A 5 4 2
   3
   A K Q J 8
   A K 7

South 1 2 5	West pass pass pass	North 1 4 5	East pass pass all pass
Opening lead: K

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